The Greenness of our planet is an ever-mutating controversy. Recycling used to entail putting all your newspapers in a sack and leaving it at the curb. Now we aren’t supposed to use plastic or paper sacks. And newspapers, as I’ve noted in an earlier post, are becoming obsolete.
Every store has recyclable bags for sale (made from hair of the extinct mooamba beast) that will probably hold four or five items if they aren’t too large. But using them will entail driving back and forth to the store every day for just a few things, wasting gas and polluting the environment even more. (Which could in fact bring about a recurrence of the Rhino Virus). All because paper bags are not green enough? I’m slightly confused. (Not an uncommon state for me to be in.)
Bicycles and motorcycles were very popular this past summer as gas prices soared, but you don’t see anyone riding “naked” now that the temps have gone sub-zero. Although, the type of green they were trying to save was not trees but the currency we call money. Which is a controversy all in itself. Is money really worth saving or should we just revert to bartering? After all, Americans have stopped tossing Canadian coins away in fountains or putting them on railroad tracks like plug nickels, and have started hoarding them in case they have to jump the border to find a job.
“Green” was on Lake Superior University’s list of words to be banned this year from the English Dictionary. They say it has been overused and people are sick of hearing it. I tend to agree with that assumption, but it is one of the primary colors and will be hard to replace. Purple is just too gay, brown is too drab, and gray is much too wishy-washy. Perhaps a new spelling would be better. The color green can stay the same and the banned, hated, politically-charged green can change to Greene. Those silent E’s are sneaky and always seem to have a secret agenda.
We now have greene cars, greene clothes, greene grocery bags, greene light bulbs, greene children (totally indoctrinated into the greene cult), and now to top it off we have a greene Bible. Yes, God must have truly ordained this version. It teaches saving the planet along with souls. Maybe we should all throw out the 14 other versions we own and buy this new greene version. Do they really think people who don't already own a bible and probably never read one in their lifetime, would suddenly feel the need for one if they made it environmentally pleasing? This is a product of ignorant advertisement execs with nothing to do.
Recently, thousands of shoes were dumped on a Miami expressway, recliners and other perks were found in a Texas prison, and in London relatives of a deceased surgeon found an old 1937 Bugatti Automobile that is supposed to be worth over four million dollars stashed away in his junk-packed garage. This is a colorful world of surprises. Why would we want to tone it all down to one color? In the perfect world of the environmentalist, there wouldn’t be shoes to dump, inmates wouldn’t be able to get their hands on recliners to relax in, and junk-filled garages would definitely no longer exist. What a sad world that would be.
Remember the television ads back in the seventies with the intelligent little owl saying, “Give a hoot, don’t pollute.” I totally agreed with that bird. I miss those days.
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